Do you remember what it was like before you had children? Do you remember what parenting goals you set yourself when you were expecting? I had these grand ideas of how I would raise my boys in my head, I guess, based on what I saw other people do with their kids, and just stuff I thought was right or wrong. ‘I will breastfeed for 18 months. No dummies after one, nutritious, home cooked food every day, made with love. No tantrums, ever. Time out chair. No tv. Oh, and my twin boys will be the best fed, most well behaved, smartest kids in all the land. ALL THE LAND, I tell you. This parenting stuff, it looks super duper easy.’
Ha! What a naive little bitch I was. I didn’t have a fucking clue. But who does?
Pretty quickly, when my milk supply dropped, I would sometimes bottle feed, and I would sometimes breastfeed. Sometimes. Cue my actual parenting style. I’m the Sometimes Mum.
Sometimes, I will feed my children healthy nutritious home cooked food that they don’t eat. Sometimes, it’s just Tiny Teddies because, well, at least it’s something right?
Sometimes, I will let them have a dummy during the day, and sometimes I won’t. Depends on what side of the bed they wake up.
Sometimes, I let them run freely at the park and sometimes I will follow them around.
Sometimes, I do housework when they nap, and sometimes I watch Netflix.
Sometimes I’ll cosleep and sometimes I’ll let them cry in their cot for a few minutes.
Sometimes I did baby led weaning and sometimes I would whip some sloppy shit up for them.
Sometimes I will make it out of the house, and sometimes it won’t happen as much as I want it to.
Sometimes I will give them positive verbal reinforcement, and sometimes I’ll bribe them with donuts at the shop.
Sometimes I love being at home with my boys, but sometimes I find it a bit overwhelming.
What I’ve learned is there really isn’t a right and wrong when it comes to parenting. What works for Jane’s kids down the road might not work for your household, and that’s cool. Doesn’t mean Jane’s wrong.
Let’s stop the mummy shaming ok?
And it’s totally ok to be a Sometimes Mum, because a lot of times, we are just doing what we can to survive.